Salespeople are notorious for using glowing language and rose-coloured glasses when describing their wares. As a public service, you will find below a useful guide to help interpret what you’re reading…
- "Needs TLC" = major structural damage;
- "Convenient" = located on freeway entrance ramp;
- "Completely renovated" = toilets now flush;
- "Sophisticated city living" = next to a noisy strip club;
- "Bachelor pad" = red velvet wallpaper & smells bad;
- "Street appeal" = only the front of the house is painted;
- "Tenant wants to stay" = evicting tenant is your problem;
- "Close to cafes" = impossible to park on the street on weekends and evenings;
- "Wide-open floor plan" = previous owner removed supporting walls;
- "Move right in" = has been unoccupied for 5 years, except for squatters, vandals and bats;
- "Security system" = neighbour has loud dog;
- "Light open spaces" = many holes in walls;
- "Walk to shopping and schools" = no bus service.
