Interpreting listing descriptions

Have you ever reviewed a property listing and thought… “Yes, but what does that actually mean?”

Salespeople are notorious for using glowing language and rose-coloured glasses when describing their wares.  As a public service, you will find below a useful guide to help interpret what you’re reading…

  • "Needs TLC" = major structural damage;
  • "Convenient" = located on freeway entrance ramp;
  • "Completely renovated" = toilets now flush;
  • "Sophisticated city living" = next to a noisy strip club;
  • "Bachelor pad" = red velvet wallpaper & smells bad;
  • "Street appeal" = only the front of the house is painted;
  • "Tenant wants to stay" = evicting tenant is your problem;
  • "Close to cafes" = impossible to park on the street on weekends and evenings;
  • "Wide-open floor plan" = previous owner removed supporting walls;
  • "Move right in" = has been unoccupied for 5 years, except for squatters, vandals and bats;
  • "Security system" = neighbour has loud dog;
  • "Light open spaces" = many holes in walls;
  • "Walk to shopping and schools" = no bus service.
I hope this helps.  If you need further real estate assistance, interpretation, or translation, please don’t hesitate to call.